Twice the pain.

Girls with different abilities go through a lot growing up

It is double the challenge to grow up as a girl with different abilities. First, there is the issue of patriarchy, where girls are to be but submissive objects. Nevertheless, I do appreciate the fact that there are now various programmes for the girl-child’s empowerment.

However, as Chinua Achebe once said, “When a culture gathers enough strength to go on for centuries, you don't just turn it off in one day.”

It is this same culture that also subjects us to ridicule when we ‘fail’ to meet its standards. “By this time, you should be married and with kids,” they always say. Ironically, we are always forcefully hidden from society.

Now then, will my soulmate come from the books I read? And if Tinder does work, will we get married without ever meeting?

We are viewed as weaklings and are forced to stay silent

Secondly, as a girl with different abilities, not only are you seen as a ‘burden’ but also as a ‘weakling’.  Being viewed as weaklings makes us prone to various societal ills and abuse. At times, even from our very own loved ones and care givers.

It proves difficult to get justice because of one simple question: “who will take care of us after they are locked up?” the improving legal framework notwithstanding.

In this day and age, some of us still go through FGM. This is because we can neither speak up nor run away. In addition, our ‘unjust house arrest’ limits our avenues to either report or file complaints.

As such, we stay silent and live with the shame. If we do get to court, justice always seems a mile further away.

I once read a story of a 14-year old girl with different abilities, who was sexually abused by a relative. Her case was dismissed simply because she could not express herself well enough, while testifying.

How then do we girls with different abilities get justice?

In light of the prevailing norms, I know it is a difficult question to answer but we must attempt.

We must stand up for our rights

For starters, I call upon girls with different abilities to believe and stand for their rights both as human beings and as women. This must be done without fear or favor. Only then will we start to be treated as equals. Know your worth!

Parents of girls with different abilities should also aspire to be more informed and thereby empowered, in order to raise their children in dignity.

The society must also change its perspective towards us. We must be viewed as equal members of society. Do not do to us what you would not like done unto you.

After all, I could easily be your daughter, sister, or even wife. And if reincarnation is real, you could also be me in another life. For once, try and put yourselves in our shoes.

There should always be room for us to participate in any and every activity. From posing for family photos to restaurant lunches or ‘get-togethers’ and even the two-thirds gender rule, we must equally be accommodated. No more being hidden!

In finishing, more inclusive legal redress mechanisms for girls with different abilities also need to be sought. We should not simply be dismissed on the basis of our different abilities. We must be granted equitable access to justice.

Njeri Maria – Founder, Njeri Maria Foundation

Edited by Aaron Ogunde