COVID-19; I have never been this clean!

Novel Corona Virus

What a year 2020 is turning out to be. COVID-19 is wreaking havoc across the globe. Thousands have died and thousands taken ill, as the infection rates continue to escalate.

All new year resolutions have now been re-written to survive, survive, survive! The ‘this is my year’ talk will have to wait till next year.

Worse still, it is only March. We have 9 moths to go. Off course there are those ‘working’ from home who never want it to end – if you know what I mean.

For some of us, the government advisory to stay home turned out to be a rude awakening. We finally learnt what our employers really think of us; non-essential staff! which could be loosely translated to “we can do without you.”

Word to the wise: if you are working from home, work. Else, you will be proving to the company what it has been thinking all along. 

Now even your family will know what you do; dining table by night, workstation by day. Caution to those who have been overselling their jobs.

For those who have been using work to run away from home, your time of reckoning is finally here. In China, over a dozen families that came out of quarantine immediately filed for divorce. I hope you miss that bus. 

Moving on, who knew that one virus could magnanimously level the playing field? No one will be flying out for treatment. We will all be here!

We will all be here

That doctor you labelled fake might just be your first call. That ‘mama mboga’ you always sneer at and think isn’t clean is going to be your only hope! You had better start smiling at these people.

Speaking of cleanliness, I don’t think my hands have ever been this clean over a 2-week period. The level of hygiene I have been observing continues to amaze me. “Did I remember to wash my hands?” Is one of the questions that now slaps me up in the middle of the night.

Right now, should you feel the urge to cough or sneeze when in public, you hold it. You hold it in till Jesus comes. One lady found this out the hard way. At one of the chain stores in Nairobi, she sneezed straight on the neck of the lady in front of her.

I tell you, this is the last thing you want to do when all of us are now constantly imagining that we have at least one of the Corona symptoms, without even getting tested. Long story short, it was full out war!

Again, who knew that one could operate in Africa without having to shake hands and not have elderly eyebrows raised? that family 'get-togethers' could be postponed at a whim, alongside the irritable when are you getting married type of questions?

Still on postponement, contrary to popular belief, reggae was stopped! For everyone! Some politicians even lamented that COVID-19 was government propaganda meant to halt their ‘service’ to the people – imagine! On the side, I think political analysts will now know what it means to be broke.

Talking of service, billionaires around the world are doing their part. While we cannot force ours to act, it would be good to remind them that dead people don’t buy products or pay taxes – whichever of the two they make their money from.

COVID-19 test kits and supplies donated by Jack Ma arrive in Kenya

Kudos to the president for the relief measures recently announced. They will help. Though I don’t know if it’s just me or some of us were expecting more?

In conclusion, we are now approaching day 14 since our first confirmed case, if we aren’t there already. This means that no one is safe.

The question is no longer whether or if, but when the virus will get to you. If you do not get infected, surely, you will be affected – business owners are already feeling the heat. However, as always, some will mint millions from this, even as others continue to make memes.

As our Health CS, Mutahi Kagwe, said, “if we continue to behave normally, this virus will deal with us abnormally.” 1^st world countries like Italy have been brought to their knees.

The best bet is to do your part by practicing social distancing, maintaining good hygiene and refraining from spreading unconfirmed facts on social media.

Ochieng Ogunde